Students Share Stories, Offer Advice at University’s Commencement Ceremonies

We have proven to ourselves that we are stronger than we think, more intelligent than we know, and more incredible than we can imagine. Our presence here at this Commencement ceremony is evidence that our resilience, hard work, and dedication can enable us to achieve any and every goal we set for ourselves.

In this moment, we are all feeling a wide range of emotions, and we have many different thoughts going through our minds. Some of you may feel excited, nervous, joyous, or full of fear. Some of us are extremely excited to embark on this next chapter, or sad that this chapter is coming to an end. Some of us have a plan in place; others are still trying to figure out what is next. Regardless of how you are feeling or where you are in your journey, above all else, I hope that you are proud of yourselves. All of those late nights, early mornings, and long days spent working toward making it here are about to pay off.

I hope you all know that you now possess a great deal of skills, talents, insights, and experiences that you have developed or acquired at the University. These are not only assets for you, but to the world around us. Every experience, every lesson, every failure, and every accomplishment is a building block for the foundation of our success that started at the University. And today, we must decide if we are going to move forward and continue to build upon that success.

That process may not always be easy, but you have made it this far, and I know that you can go further. Moving into the next chapter in our lives, we will have to work harder than we have ever worked, and we may face challenges more difficult than those we have faced in the past. We must dream bigger dreams to achieve higher goals. We must not make room for fear or anything else that will take space away from the excellence and potential we have inside of us. Once we truly embrace our potential and decide to commit to our success, I believe that we will indeed succeed. With all the potential we have inside of us, we owe it to ourselves, to those who currently stand beside us, to those who came before us, and to those who will come after us to decide to continue the success that started here, allowing the greatness we have within to radiate everywhere we go and in everything we do.

As we celebrate the people we are today, we must also celebrate the people we will become. I believe that you all have the power to decide who that person you will be. The poet Nikki Giovanni once said, "I think we are all capable of tremendous beauty once we decide we are beautiful."

Those words are so powerful to me because it makes me think about all the incredible things we are capable of once we decide who we are. Once we decide who we are and embrace what we are capable of doing, we are so unstoppable that nothing and no one – not even ourselves – can stop us from doing the extraordinary things we are destined to do in this world.

As this chapter of our lives comes to an end, a new chapter will begin. We will continue our unique stories and achieve many great things, if that is what we decide to do.

Congratulations to my fellow graduates on all that you’ve accomplished, who you’ve become, and who you will decide to be.

Time passed, and eventually, I learned English – those cartoons paid off. But with great power came great responsibility. I spoke English, but my parents did not. So, I needed to translate for my parents in our day to day lives. I tried to explain all the papers that got sent home, but sometimes, the words were too big. I recall having to translate in person in real time. I would whisper in their ear what they had to say, what was said to them, and correct their mistakes. Something as simple as asking for extra ketchup at a McDonald’s was a daunting task.

And yet here I am today. Standing before all of you, giving a speech on my origin story. It’s nothing like Batman’s, but it’s mine. It was Batman who once said, "It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." We do what we do is because of what we are, and we are what we are because of the difficulties we’ve had to go through. I think Batman would agree.

Closer to the present, several years ago, we all immigrated to the University of New Haven. We were tested, filled out paperwork, and anxiously waited for good news. We headed out with only our necessities to a land we might not have ever been to but had heard good things about. Once we arrived, we had to adapt. Our social lives were different, and the people and resources we’d once relied upon weren’t nearby anymore. We were in an unfamiliar environment with mostly strangers, so we formed little groups of friends. The rules were different, the people were different, and the culture unique. But we sought to better ourselves, so we dealt with it. And we couldn’t have done it without our community and the guidance we received. May we all be guided throughout our lives as we have been at the University of New Haven. Thank you.

There were many times when I did not feel good enough over the last two years. Whether that was in class, having known very little about organizational psychology, at my internship, or even in my personal relationships.

I saw this self-doubt as my enemy, as something I had to overcome. I believed that I wouldn’t be able to live freely or happily as long as I carried it with me. But that simply isn’t true.

Last year, I read a book by Steven Pressfield, an advocate for creativity and overcoming the type of resistance that always follows the moment one decides to pursue their passion.

To paraphrase: Fear is good. Fear tells us what we have to do. The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more certain we can be that we have to do it.

Steve was onto something. Because when we encounter a new challenge or opportunity that ignites something deep within us, that’s terrifying. The stakes are high, it matters so much. We question our excitement, we question our ability to do our work in this world.

So I ask you:

Where were you when you were wrapping up your application to the University? Where were you when you clicked "submit"? And I don’t mean what room of the house or what Starbucks you were in. But where was your mind?

Despite working long hours in a career that I wasn’t in love with, feeling intellectually stagnant and creatively stifled, I still doubted whether clicking "submit" was the right thing to do. After being out of school for two years and swearing I would never go back, I thought, Maybe I can’t do this.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a brief moment of relief – it’s out of my hands. They want me, or they don’t. But this feeling didn’t last long. Let a couple days go by not knowing if you’ll be renewing your lease, or finding a new job, or making new friends. And all of a sudden, that same relief is now complete terror. And instead: "eh, they want me or they don’t" turns into "but what if they don’t?"

The good news is, we’re all here because they did.

But I would bet that at one point, most of us weren’t sure if we were making the right decision. Most of us weren’t sure if we were good enough.

Self-doubt marks the edge of our comfort zone. It’s the caution tape that keeps us safe. It keeps us doing what we’ve always done. But it also keeps us unfulfilled.

By its very nature, self-doubt comes from within. My challenge to you is to not view your self-doubt as a barrier that you need to cross, or resistance that you need to overcome, but as a sign. A sign telling you what you have to do.

We can’t grow, we can’t learn, we can’t click "submit," or write a speech for 5,000 people if we’re resisting the signs. If we’re getting in our own way.

Let your fear guide you. Call upon the friends you made here. If you are lucky enough to be moving into post-grad life with less ambiguity, I promise you that at one point, just as before, your future will be unclear. You will ask yourself: Am I good enough? And you will say, I can’t do this.

And then, you will.

1. I am 21; which means that I have a lot of living left to do – and there’s nothing wrong with that.
2. I have very little life experience, but my worth to society is not determined by what I have done so far. I have potential, I have motivation and ambition, and – thanks to the University of New Haven – I have opportunity to succeed in whatever I decide to do.
3. I have no experience in the world post-graduation; but my college experience has prepared me to tackle what is yet to come. I have developed skills in the realms of leadership, communication, resilience, teamwork, global and cultural awareness, and critical thinking – to name a few.
4. I have almost nothing to offer in terms of advice pertaining to how to be successful, happy, adventurous, etc., but I do have advice pertaining to how to move forward from here. Believe in your ability to succeed and to apply the lessons you have learned throughout your time here and never accept the idea that you lack ability, commitment, or faith in yourself.

At this point, we all have a choice. Will we choose to believe those who say we lack the drive to succeed, or will we leave this University equipped to show the world that we are exactly what they need? I know which path I will choose to follow, and I know that we – as Chargers and as the Class of 2019 – will leave together with the experience, knowledge, support, and NOW the degree to make all of our wildest dreams a reality.

May we continue to learn, grow, and thrive - all the while remembering where we came from.

Thank you.

I want in my life because I am everything I need to shape my future. I want you to believe the same – we are what we believe in and we are enough to achieve our goals and dreams.

Coming to the University of Haven has definitely given me a taste of the real world. It taught me that getting what you want and making the most of your time requires that you put yourself out there and step out of your comfort zone to succeed. It taught me how to see a finish line before one exists. That means that every second, every step of the way from where we are right now until we cross the finish line, depends on us, our unwavering will to achieve our dreams and make the right choices along the way. I want us to have a vision of how we want our lives to be. I want us to wake up every single day of our lives and know that we are building something incredible, that we are creating a masterpiece from the ground up. Nobody can see it today, and that is fine, but I want us to see it in our heads. All the successful people that we speak about and look up to, they have seen the unseen and they have worked to bring it to fruition. This, my friends, is the foundation for any person to become successful, to become great. My dad always told me one thing: Successful people don’t do different things, they do things differently. And remember great people are not born – they are made. As we take on our lives, I want us to make good choices, and right decisions. Don’t be scared of change. Don’t be scared to go out of your comfort zone. Let’s take bold decisions and take risks that set us – as a class – apart. Let’s remember that there is no wrong when turning in a right decision – even if it is against the world.

Before I set you guys free, I want to take this moment to thank my dad who must be proudly smiling watch this event live back home in India. Dad, I miss you. Just know that you are my rock and my true inspiration, and I hope I can become half of what you are. I wouldn’t be here if it was not for your faith in me, and I am really lucky to have a father like you.

Finally, I would like to thank all of my friends, classmates, professors, and mentors who helped me get to this point. You have all played an important role in this journey, and I am grateful for all of you for your support and encouragement.

Congratulations again, Class of 2019. Remember: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Thank You. God bless everyone.